In this section, I will explain how the “thoughts” in our minds play a crucial role in our happiness.
When one thinks of happiness, it’s interesting to consider “where” in oneself it happens. The location of happiness is not in one’s elbow, knees, wrists, kidneys, liver, etc.! Instead, happiness happens in one’s mind.
But then, one can ask, what is the mind? The mind is essentially a collection of flowing thoughts. Every waking moment, one is always “thinking”, constantly creating many thoughts. It’s what makes one “conscious” and, in many ways, it makes one human.
Ultimately, the thousands of thoughts in one’s mind interact to determine how happy one is at that moment. Thoughts are incredibly powerful in influencing one’s state of happiness. Some thoughts are “helpful” for one’s happiness, as in they help one feel more positive and content. On the other hand, some thoughts are “unhelpful” for one’s happiness, as they tend to lower one’s mood.
If one is to find happiness, it’s important to change unhelpful thoughts to helpful ones. Understanding the difference between helpful and unhelpful thoughts is a good starting point. I will explain the concept using the simple example below.
Let us imagine that two people are working for an excellent company. This company pays big salaries and offers numerous luxurious perks. Unsurprisingly, both these people are very happy.
But now imagine that things go wrong with this company. The management makes some very poor business decisions, resulting in the company losing money. Eventually, despite heroic efforts, the once fantastic company goes bankrupt. With no money to continue operating, our two workers lost their jobs.
Unsurprisingly, both are now miserable in the immediate aftermath of losing their lucrative jobs.
When facing this stressful situation, imagine that the two people in our scenario think differently.
One of them thinks, “Well, that was a great job, but that is no more. There is no point in thinking of what I have lost. Instead, I must start job hunting to pay my household bills.”
On the other hand, the other person has thoughts such as, “How terrible! Bad things happen only to me. I will never get another job. There is no point trying as the world is useless.”
Both people have to face the same problem, but each has a markedly different way of “thinking” about it.
The first person’s thoughts were “helpful” as they did not worsen the person’s sadness. This person’s thoughts kept his or her mind in a state where he or she could effectively consider potential solutions. The positive outlook will help the person move on and ultimately find a replacement job.
On the other hand, the second person’s thoughts were “unhelpful” as they only made the person feel bad and offered no constructive solutions. With this unhelfpul thinking, the person may well spiral into depression, which itself may make finding another job difficult.
Despite facing the same stress, the first person’s helpful way of thinking made the person remain relatively happy. In contrast, the second person’s unhelpful way of thinking made that person unhappy. Two different outcomes, just by thinking differently. In this way, thoughts can be a powerful factor in determining happiness.
For happiness, it is essential to avoid unhelpful thinking. This website will help you recognise and change unhelpful thoughts. At various points in this website, I will describe common unhelpful thoughts that people have. This will help you recognise such thoughts when they occur. I will also explain various psychological tools (techniques) for changing unhelpful thoughts to helpful ones. These tools are very practical, so you can use them daily to manage your thoughts.