Scientific studies have shown that having gratitude (being thankful) is a very effective and simple psychological tool for achieving happiness. Do not be fooled by its simplicity; gratitude can be very powerful.
Often, especially when things are not great, it is easy to think there is nothing to be grateful for. This could happen when one looks only for “big” things to be thankful for and ignores lesser things. While one should not ignore big things, looking for “small” things to be grateful for is also essential. Let me give you an example.
Imagine that a person, whom we will call Mark, has severe arthritis that limits his mobility and makes it difficult for him to venture out of his house. The disease makes Mark feel very low and despondent.
However, one day he managed to take a very short walk down the street where he lives. It was not a very long walk, but it still got him out of the house. Later that day, he also got a phone call from his friend Sam. It was a brief call, but it was a nice call nonetheless.
That evening, Mark started getting depressed about his arthritis. However, Mark practices “gratitude” regularly and looks for things to be grateful for. He said to himself, “Today, I am grateful that I was able to do a short walk in my street and enjoy the outdoors.” Another thing that I am thankful for is the phone call that my friend Sam made to me. It was great chatting with him, and it made me feel better.”
This simple act of gratitude elevated Mark’s mood.
As you may have noticed in the example, gratitude doesn’t have to be for only major things. Being grateful for simple, everyday things can be very useful in boosting one’s happiness. It can be as simple as being grateful for receiving a smile at the supermarket.
One may need to make extra effort to find things to be grateful for, as one’s mind may have gotten used to taking things for granted. When using gratitude, one should be creative. One doesn’t always have to choose the same things daily, such as “I am grateful for my loving family.” If one keeps saying the same things every day (e.g. loving family), one’s mind may not “learn” to look for other things to be grateful for. On different days, try to look for as many new, small things as possible to be thankful for. It will make your gratitude exercise more interesting.
However, when looking for things to be grateful for, there are a few things you need to be careful about. One should not excessively focus on being thankful to people whom one may feel under obligation to, either emotionally or materially (e.g. someone who has lent one money). I am not saying that one should not acknowledge such persons. However, doing so excessively may bring one’s mood down, as one may feel constantly indebted to those people and develop a sense of helplessness.
It’s also important not to let gratitude be about being happy about others’ misfortunes. (e.g. “I am grateful that I am not as poor as my neighbour.”). That would make having gratitude a negative exercise. Instead, one should just be grateful for good things that have happened to oneself without comparing them to those less fortunate than oneself.
Some might find it helpful to write these thankful thoughts in a notebook or diary (“gratitude journal”). At times, one might even be able to express gratitude directly to someone (e.g., “Thank you for visiting me, you made me feel better.”). Many will find it convenient to use their “inner voice” to express their gratitude.
Remembering to be grateful can be challenging, and one may need to develop a way of reminding oneself to be grateful. One approach is to make it a regular habit at an easy-to-remember time, such as when in bed at night before falling asleep. Another approach would be to put a daily reminder in one’s phone diary to prompt oneself, at a convenient time, to be grateful, perhaps with a screen message: “Gratitude Time!” As one regularly practices gratitude, one’s mind will view the world less negatively.
As mentioned before, do not dismiss this tool simply because it appears very simple. In reality, it can be a very powerful force in changing how you think. Now it’s my time to practice gratitude. I am very grateful that you are visiting this website and that I can share “Happy Thinking” with you.