On this page, I will discuss a type of unhelpful thinking called “untrue deep beliefs.” At the onset, I must clarify that when talking about “beliefs,” I certainly do not mean religious beliefs!
Instead, it is about the deep beliefs that one has about oneself, other people, and the world around oneself. For example, regarding oneself, one might have the deep belief, “I am stupid”. Regarding others, one might have the deep belief, “People are selfish”. And regarding the world, one might have the deep belief, “The world is a very dangerous place.”
Such beliefs are “deep” in one’s mind and often determine how one thinks. A person may be aware of their deep beliefs, but they are frequently hidden.
While I like to use the word deep beliefs, many psychologists refer to such beliefs as “core beliefs”, and you may come across this term elsewhere in psychology resources.
When one is born, one’s mind has no deep beliefs about anything. However, from that blank state onwards, one starts to form deep beliefs about various things. For example, even as a baby, one would learn which faces belong to those who will cuddle and give nourishment and those who provide no benefit. I.e. one forms deep beliefs about who is “good” for survival and who is “bad”. Over time, one’s brain continually adds deep beliefs.
Deep beliefs strongly determine how one’s mind thinks. People tend to make “rules” about life based on their deep beliefs and have thoughts that “support” those beliefs.
For example, imagine there is a person, whom we will call Sujith, who has a deep belief, “I have good leadership skills”. Now, suppose Sujith meets an owner of a major company at a social event, and that person, impressed by Sujith, offers him a job as a senior manager. In this situation, Sujith’s mind, guided by his positive, deep belief, may develop the thought, “I have the skills that will help me to do well in this new job, therefore I should accept it”. This prompts him to take up the offer.
However, let us now imagine a different scenario in which Sujith holds the opposite deep belief: “I have poor leadership skills.” In this scenario, if he were offered the same job, driven by his negative deep belief, his mind might think, “I have useless leadership skills and I will therefore fail in this new job.” This could prompt him to refuse the job offer.
As the above examples show, deep beliefs can direct one’s life. It’s therefore vital that one has deep beliefs that truly represent oneself. Unfortunately, one can develop negative deep beliefs that are untrue. Such untrue negative deep beliefs can unnecessarily limit one’s life potential. You may now wonder how one can get deep beliefs that are untrue and do not represent oneself. Unfortunately, this can happen quite easily, and I will explain how.
Untrue deep beliefs can form in childhood, when one’s mind is not fully developed and is relatively immature. For example, imagine that a small child, whom we will call Gaby, is with her mother, who is quite preoccupied with some pressing issue. As they walk in the park, imagine that Gaby’s mother buys her an ice cream. Unfortunately, a few minutes later, imagine that Gaby accidentally drops the ice cream, and her mother, in a lapse of concentration, says, “You are stupid”.
Of course, Gaby’s mother did not really mean that she was “stupid”; instead, it was just something said in the heat of the moment without much thought. However, Gaby, who lacks the mental maturity of an adult, may take her mother’s statement seriously, leading to the formation of the untrue deep belief, “I am stupid,” in her mind. Now you might say, “Surely, when Gaby grows up, she would replace this with a more realistic deep belief, such as, “I am not stupid.” Unfortunately, things are not all that logical when it comes to the mind. Sometimes, childhood deep beliefs can remain unchallenged and unchanged in one’s mind, persisting into adulthood. It’s almost as if one’s mind forgets that the deep beliefs are from one’s childhood, and instead just “assumes” that such beliefs must be true.
Such unchallenged, untrue deep beliefs that persist into adulthood can cause harm. In Gaby’s case, her deeply ingrained childhood belief, “I am stupid,” may remain unchallenged by new logical thinking as she grows up, limiting her potential as an adult. For example, this unchallenged, untrue deep belief may well dissuade Gaby from pursuing a university education. This would be a pity because if she disregarded her untrue deep belief, she might have done well in university.
Untrue deep beliefs can sometimes be difficult to discover, as they may lie in the background. If one cannot work out one’s deep beliefs, one may be able to recognise the thoughts supporting the untrue deep belief. For example, when thinking about her higher education, Gaby may not recognise the deep belief “I am stupid,” but instead may recognise the supporting thought, “I should not apply to university, as I will surely fail if I enrol in one.” In this case, she should question her deep belief and ask herself why she thinks she would fail in university.
As you can imagine, unchallenged, untrue deep beliefs can unnecessarily limit a person’s potential. Here are some more examples of common untrue deep beliefs:
Untrue deep beliefs about oneself:
- I am not good enough / I am a failure
- I am worthless
- I am powerless
- I am unlovable / I am not capable of loving others
- I am not pretty / I need a lot of makeup to make me acceptable
- It’s not good for me to feel good
Untrue deep beliefs about other people:
- All people are untrustworthy
- All people are judgmental
- All people want to hurt me
- All those whom I love will always leave me / Relationships always will fail
- No one cares
- All people are selfish
Untrue deep beliefs about the world:
- The world everywhere is a dangerous place
- The whole world is unfair
- The entire world is cruel
A goal of Happy Thinking is to address untrue deep beliefs. However, we will keep that for later on the website, when we discuss various psychological tools that you can use to access and change untrue deep beliefs. For now, just remember the basic concept of untrue deep beliefs.